A post of some sort was requested by Sir a week or so ago. I have been meaning to do it but things have gotten in the way physically and mentally.
Lately with the slow down of D/s over here my brain has been questioning the whole lifestyle. It's like there is a full blown debate going on in my head. My vanilla side pops in saying its wrong this is wrong I shouldn't let him hit me like that blah blah blah. Then my sub side pops in saying but it's AWESOME and I have become the person I have always wanted to be. This "argument" doesn't go on all day every day its just randomly throughout the day. I am not entirely sure why it happens but I do know that its normal for how new we are to this. Its something that has been talked about on LK's blog in the chatroom. I wish I could make my brain stop with this vanilla vs sub debate. It affects my day and my mood. Things I have found pleasure in doing I find hard to do during this "debate". I personally think this happens because I have to much time to think. lol. I have become so good at my day to day stuff that Sir and I haven't really figured out the next step leaving me with lots of thinking time. I know once we are farther in this that these "debates" will happen less and less and eventually they won't happen at all. At the moment I am just trying to power through and not get myself into to much trouble. ;)
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