The last couple days I have just been irritated at everything. Sir isn't doing enough, Sir isn't doing it right, I feel like a piece of meat and not a cherished possession, I am sick of cleaning, I'm sick of doing the dish, I want to cry, I want to scream.. As you can see I am all over the place. The hardest part in my submission is keeping my mouth shut when I'm like this and dealing with the emotions. I have never been good at either.
My whole life I have kept my emotions to myself about anything and everything until I exploded. That of course never ended well. Now I am in this new lifestyle that I love and shortly after finding it my life was in the mud and the D/s awesomeness we just found was the last thing to be taken care of.
I no longer know how to keep myself together and any of Sir's attempts to be in control I feel is him just being an ass. Before today I felt like we were still moving forward but now I feel like I am back at square one having to start all over with myself since I've been skating by doing whatever I want and getting away with it because Sir is so busy. Of course I accept that these feelings are possibly from my emotions running high today. I also acknowledge that this is possibly part of the journey since this is the first major road block we've hit since we started. Either way I am not feeling very good about myself today and I am trying really hard to be in a submissive mindset.
Hoping that writing it all right now will help me in the rest of my day.
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