Pissed!!! (12/20/2013)

Sir decided to request that I take the initiative to seduce him tomorrow and make him cum. Taking the initiative isn't something I am good at and when I'm not good at something i am not confident or comfortable with it. I gave a crappy response and explained I wasn't comfortable but before making it any worse I decide I would just go to bed. Sir called me back and proceeded to have a vanilla like argument. He then decided he didn't like the conversation and punished me by making me sleep naked. He accused me of being in the wrong and took no responsibility for his part in the direction of the conversation. Now I am laying her naked, crying and wanting to scream "fuck you".. I feel like his dominance lies only in the bedroom and when he decides to be dominant outside of the bedroom it sounds controlling.. The one thing I hate about this so far is that it's not enough for me but to much attention to detail for him. Trying to find the balance is effing ridiculous.. At this moment in time my body hasn't had sufficient resting time in between activities and it's worn out but I'm still expected to perform. Ugh I'm such a mess right now and I feel like he could give a shit less which is far from how I want this relationship to be and what's even worse then that is having no one to vent to about it and getting an immediate response. So I'm just going to cry myself to sleep and deal with it because there's really nothing else I can do I guess. I have never been so mad an being able to do nothing which just makes me more mad and makes me want to hit something. Having a really hard time laying here trying to calm down and not make it worse.